New

Nearly six months have passed since we've posted anything. So much is happening in our lives, and Carter's story continues to touch hearts. We bought a small house in Liberty back in April, and Gary has spent many hours painting and adding personal touches to our new home.
As we mentioned months ago, we are expecting another baby. Charlotte Jane Heckman is slated to be born in just a few short weeks (scheduled for October 19 at KU). We've been decorating the nursery--lots of pink! As always, we get excellent care at KU, and so far everything has gone great. She seems perfectly healthy, and she doesn't appear to be a small baby--momma's been feeding her well already! It's hard to trust that everything will be fine, as we thought Carter was healthy at this point, too. We are nearly certain that it is a rare genetic problem that caused Carter's illness, but it is worse in boys than girls, so this is reassuring. Right now, we are looking forward to our new baby girl's arrival. Carter would have been an amazing big brother, and we would have had the perfect family. Some days the "would have beens" get the best of me...
There is also another baby in the family. Geoff (Gary's brother) and his wife, Emily, have a baby girl, born May 19th. It was perfect timing, coming just before the one year anniversary of Carter's passing. Kendall Paige brings us all so much to be thankful for--she's a beautiful little girl full of smiles and giggles. Sometimes she looks so much like Carter. We love her so much. She and Charlotte will be exactly five months apart and will get to grow up together.
We have started attending Liberty Christian Fellowship church. We've been going the past few months and really like it. I must admit that it is still hard to sing some of the lines of songs in worship, and some Sundays I have to force myself to go. Gary is such a strong man of God, and although I know he, too, struggles with the "whys", he clings to his faith and encourages me along the way.
Speaking of Gary, he is singing in a new group, Soul Harvest Quartet. He really enjoys it, and it has been a great outlet for him. I go along most of the time and enjoy watching him, and soon Charlotte will be right there, cheering for her Daddy, just as I know Carter is doing from Heaven.
We celebrated our five year anniversary last weekend. Our lives certainly have been different than what we ever could have imagined. Yet I'm so thankful to be married to such an amazing man.
Thank you for continuing to care about our family, and for loving our little boy. My heart still aches for him, and I still find myself clinging to each dream, each memory, each thought of my Carter. We've brought out several of his things for Charlotte to use when she arrives. One in particular is the Ladybug book. I look forward to reading it to Charlotte and telling her stories of her big brother. I realized this morning, as I watched my belly take new shapes with each little wriggle and squirm, that I love her. It was the most wonderful feeling. I know Carter would love her, too.