Happy Birthday

Today is Carter's birthday; he would turn two. Every once in awhile I see a little boy, and I think "Carter would have looked sort of like that." I wonder if he is celebrating up there, if someone has thrown him a great big party with balloons and cake and punch. I wonder if they know up there how lucky they are to have him. Today we will go to St. Joe. We will visit his grave and bring him presents. Then we will go to Gary's Dad's to be with family. We didn't want to throw some awkward birthday party, but we wanted to be with the people who we'd be with anyway today. So that's what we'll do.
I guess I will update you on our lives. Charlotte Jane was born Friday, October 19, 2007. She was 6 lbs, 12 oz and 19 inches long...a beautiful little girl. They gave us a big room just down from the NICU, so we had lots of Carter's nurses visit us, which was so very nice. She gave us a bit of a scare in her first few days, as she was quite jaundiced. Turns out she's perfectly healthy, and today, at 4 1/2 months, weighs nearly 15 lbs!! She has the best nature--she laughs and smiles and sleeps through the night. Sometimes she stares off up at the ceiling and smiles. I imagine she's watching her big brother make faces at her. Maybe he sings to her. Maybe I'm crazy, but it helps...
We are doing good these days, although the past week or two have seemed pretty hard for me. I now do a lot of driving, and I find myself thinking of him most of the time. You know, Charlotte is a perfect little girl, and we love her completely. But having her makes us realize just how special Carter was. She has this sweet, happy spirit. She is everything that a baby should be. But he was different. From the day he was born everyone said so. He had these eyes which seemed so deep and thoughtful. It was as if he knew something the rest of us did not. People said he looked so wise, and we called him our wise old man. I think he he was an old soul in just two and a half months. Things that take most of us a lifetime to learn, he accomplished within just 10 weeks. Looking at Charlotte's sparkling, innocent eyes, I can see the difference.
Thank you for thinking of our Carter today, for thinking of us.